Back on My Feet revisited

The 56 Frickin' Miles blog began when I decided to run the Comrades ultramarathon in South Africa and wanted to draw attention to Sharp Dressed Man.  Sharp Dressed Man is, however, just one of several organizations with which I have been involved that provides some type of assistance to individuals who are trying to get themselves back into a community and/or improve their chances of improving their lives.

Yesterday, I was at an event at which we challenged students at the Johns Hopkins Carey Business School to think about what it means to practice business with humanity in mind.  One of the students is a runner and is actively involved in a variety of volunteer activities including thread.  I have no doubt that when she becomes a business leader she will practice business with humanity in mind and she keeps humanity in mind in all she does in her life.

She indicated that she was intrigued about Back on My Feet (one of the other organizations that works to end addiction and homelessness) but that she did wonder if running was what individuals in facilities designed to help them make a transition back to the community really needed.

Running is a big part of what Back on My Feet is known for, with volunteers meeting residents of the facilities with whom it partners at 5:30 three days a week to run from 1-4 miles.   Running is a great activity for learning about how to set goals, how to keep going through difficulty, and how the experience of achieving long-term goals gives an emotional lift.  But running is not all the organization provides.  Those members from the partner facilities who attend most of the workouts are eligible for additional services including financial literacy, opportunities to use networks for job and housing placement, and expungement services when needed.

So, while I will always be a runner and I think running is an activity that can help an individual grow in so many ways, the organization Back on My Feet does not just focus on running.  It is a holistic program designed to complement other activities that the members have going on to make their lives better so that they can, in turn, help to make the communities in which they live better.  I hope that anyone who is interested and lives in one of the cities the organization serves will take some time to find out about it.  

Meaningful Comment

Today, I attended a breakfast speaker series that is run by United Way called In Their Own Words.  The speaker was the Acting Commissioner of the Social Security Administration.  At my level of donation to the United Way, when I get invitations to these breakfasts, I have the opportunity to invite others to accompany me.  So, for today's breakfast, I had invited three people I have mentored over time--my last MPH advisee, one of the full time MBA students who graduated last May and is still in Baltimore and continuing to look for a job, and one of my training partners for whom I am also  a mentor.

One of the comments from the speaker, which she attributed to former Governor William Donald Schaefer, was "people will not care how much you know until they know how much you care."

I thought that was quite a powerful comment and even shared my thought with my three guests by email afterwards.  I'm not sure that I could have come up with that catchy of a phrase by myself but it is certainly something that I try to live by.

What is most interesting is to think about my own evolution as I have followed my dreams over the years.  I can think about this both in terms of my running life and my academic life.

For my running life, I used to think it was all about how fast I ran.  How far I ran.  How much I know know about running.  That was when I ran alone.  And obviously to run with people, I have to match up with them in terms of paces and distances, but the people I have formed long-lasting running relationships with are those who know how much I care.  Those with whom I have a close personal relationship as well as matching up well for running. When I recognized the importance of those closer personal relationships, running became more than just running.  It became running and writing and mentoring and self-expression.  It became so much more in my life than just exercise.  It became a part of what defines me.  So now when I am trying to reach the goal of completing the 56 mile Comrades run, those I care about and who care about me stick with me, encourage me, and will be cheering me on when the race day arrives.

For my academic life, in the earliest grades, I thought it was all about what I knew.  And to the degree that I showed that I cared, it was usually tied to demonstrating how much I knew and how much better I was academically rather than just helping.  There came a time--starting in the sixth grade and continuing through high school--when I moved away from that.  Still, I had an unnaturally strong interest in making sure I was valedictorian.  Fast forward many years--and in my leadership today, I make sure to get to know people.  I spoke with a new employee in employer relations at the business school today and asked (jokingly) whether career services was what she always dreamed about.  I offered my vision of how student services should be there to help students when they need it but otherwise get out of the way of student success.  I spent a half hour speaking with her and it made an impression.  I talked strategically with two of my direct reports about what comes next for them and for the school.  I have invested in getting to know a ton about them to make the relationships more complete and more meaningful so that they we can succeed together given what we both know and the skills we both have.

Even with respect to Sharp Dressed Man.  Yes, it is great that I know people who might help the two who started the information and the executive director whom I will meet tomorrow to achieve the organization's goals.  But it all has to start from caring about the two guys who started it and caring about serving the men who are helped by the organization to motivate that relationship and build the trust and mutual respect to make this happen.

As I wrote on a social media post this morning.  The expression from the speaker is a set of words to live by.  And a set of words to lead by.  And as I wrote to my guests--I hope they see that in me as much as I see it in myself.  To use a cliché--actions speak louder than words. So, I will test whether my actions are perceived to show my caring for others to the degree I hope they are. 

Each has their own gifts

Today, I went to church, even though we are at a hockey tournament.  Why did I do this?  For the same reason that I run five or six days a week.  For the same reason, that I am trying to make sure more often now that I do all the yoga, and stretching, and strengthening each day.  It is a part of leading life.  Life requires some degree of constancy to form habits and establish patterns to lead myself toward the achievement of goals.  

Leading a life that is consistent with a religious practice is a god.

Running as an activity for life is a goal.

Completing Comrades is a goal.

Career success and being a good parent are goals.

Since I did go to church today, I listened very carefully to the readings.  In today's second reading in the Catholic church (1 Cor 12:4-11), Paul lists nine gifts of the Holy Spirit and the fact that each person is given some for a reason.  

Why is this important?

First, it makes clear that each of us has something.  I am blessed to have a lot.  Second, I like to think of it as what is given can be adjusted over and over throughout life.  The gifts that I am given at one point are not necessarily the gifts that I will have at all points.  I am asked to use different gifts at different points in time.  Third, it gives me reason to explore--what are the gifts I have and how can I use them?  Whether they are gifts of the Holy Spirit or just gifts that I see in my life.  

I love to be generous with my time.  (The homily today talked about how we who honor a generous God should be generous.)  I love to inspire.  I love to encourage.  I love to be present.  

All of those help me to follow my dream of a way to live.  A way to love.  A way to share.  A way to care.

And all of these are things that are captured in the pursuit of the dream of running Comrades.  (My dream, others sharing my dream, and everyone hoping that I succeed and helping me to succeed.)  And all of these are things that are embodied in Sharp Dressed Man and what it does to help men who need a reboot in life.  To have a chance to share their gifts in a way that is more positive than negative.  

Second Chances, Confidence, Coordination

I have registered for the Comrades Marathon 2016.  Except this is not your ordinary 26.2 mile marathon.  The course in 2016 between Pietermaritzburg and Durban will be approximately 90 kilometers or just under 56 miles.  In my first two marathons I raised money for charity.  I have not done that since 2011.  As I prepare for my longest race ever in 2016, I want to share something with those who follow my preparation and cheer for me to complete the race. I want to share information about a not-for-profit called Sharp Dressed Man. I am hoping that my efforts and my call to action will inspire some of those who follow along to make at least a small donation to Sharp Dressed Man. 

When I think of Sharp Dressed Man I think of second chances, confidence, and coordination.  The organization collects used suits, prepares them to be given to men who are in need of a suit for an interview or a job but who are somehow down on their luck, and works with other organizations to help the men learn other basic skills that can help them to put their lives back together.

Have I ever been in a situation that would lead me to need this type of opportunity?  No.  But I think we can all relate to stories of second chances, needing confidence, and the value of coordination. 

So let me briefly share my story of why these themes speak to me so much.

First, I think everyone needs second chances at some point in time.  Some are just bigger needs than others.  I got a second chance at being fit and healthy after letting myself gain ten pounds in the first year of my youngest son’s life which was the last of nineteen years of nearly no exercise.  I’ve made big changes in my educational training and in my career.  I’ve made mistakes in my career and needed more time or another chance to get things right. I have overcommitted and ended up not doing the right thing by any of the commitments I made and then needed a second chance to follow through. I’ve never found myself so down on my luck that I was homeless or bankrupt or needed a total restart.  However, I know how valuable second chances can be on a day to day basis even if they are just little second chances.

Second, confidence.  Even as a highly successful professional, I spent the first 16+ years of my career at a university not caring about suits and (other than not wanting to look like a fool) not really caring how I dressed.  After I made a big job switch within my university my boss told me to get better suits.  I had met Christopher Schafer of Sharp Dressed Man a year earlier at ArtScape, and I decided to go to the Christopher Schafer Clothier for a suit.  I later bought two more.  Having the right suit even makes a difference for someone like me.  I felt more confident—about work and everything else.  I felt better.  I talked to others who noticed.  I talked to others who had their own story. The key is to be confident in myself without being arrogant toward others.  My second chance at better clothing gave me a chance to have a story and reflect.  But the fact that I needed a second chance gives me no right to ever be arrogant toward others as they explore their own style and impression issues. 

Third, for coordination.  I know I cannot prepare for the 90 km race all by myself.  I have many running friends who will join me for miles along the way.  I have a coach who will help me to prepare.  I have friends on social media who encourage.  I have a family who supports me.  I know what I do well.  I know what others do well.  We each need to play our part.  Christopher Schafer knows what he and Seth do well.  And he knows how to find other people to team up with for the other aspects of helping the men he places in suits through Sharp Dressed Man.

So, I am asking you to join me to help Sharp Dressed Man on its journey.  My journey is a physical one.  Sharp Dressed Man is on a journey that is part love—a love of giving and a love of the space on Park Avenue.  Sharp Dressed Man is on a journey that is part rejuvenation—using as many recycled materials as possible to spruce up the old building and put in dressing rooms, mirrors and multiple racks to store the donated suits.  Sharp Dressed Man is on a journey that is part spiritual—believing in the men who are getting the second chances.  Sharp Dressed Man is on a journey that is part financial—the money to rent the space and store the suits and provide the fitting services has to come from somewhere.  Sharp Dressed Man is on a journey that represents the best of what successful business people can do—doing business with humanity in mind with the goal of building economies and societies and not just building up ourselves.  Consider making a small donation at http://www.sharpdressedman.org/shop/.  And if you do, please let me know or let Christopher Schafer know so we can continue on this journey together. 

Anyone who makes a donation and lets me know will get a free copy of reflections I am writing in the six months of training for Comrades—The Spirit of a Runner on the Way to Comrades.  It should be available by August 1, 2016 after I clean up what I write during the training.